There’s a specific moment (that normally comes around early March) where the sun is shining, car wash lines are long and you’ll think to yourself, “I should go try on bathing suits.” Maybe you’ve had your green smoothie that morning, or have been to the gym the last few days. Maybe you get a reminder text about a bachelorette party or an email from target telling you it’s BOGO. Whatever the trigger is, it prompts you to shop.
(For most people) there is so much mental prep work that has to happen before you try on suits.
You think to yourself: (any combination of the following)
• “Tanning. Yes, that will make me look better. I will sign up for a package once I leave.”
• “It’s only March. I have plenty of time to get where I need to be.”
• “The lighting. That horrible dressing room lighting will make me look terrible. I’ll look much better in the sun.”
• “Sarongs- I will invest in a classy, yet sexy sarong. I will look JUST like Beyoncé.”
• Or my typical response, “I will NOT put myself into ANY situation this summer that will require me to wear a bathing suit.”
Terrible. At 23, I SHOULD NOT be avoiding pools, beaches, or lake houses (that’s where the best kind of day-drinking happens)! The last 3-ish years have been filled with heightened anxiety about trying on bathing suits. I always select black ones. I always sulk into the dressing room, try them on and think, “I should have started working out weeks ago.” In the past, bathing suit shopping has led to full on pissed tears.
Do you know the ones that I’m talking about? They shoot out of your eyes like a jet stream. They’re hot, salty tears, at lightning speed, racing down your face. I HATE pissed tears.
This recent trip was much different. Laura and I went on our lunch break to Target with a mission in mind: must find perfect suit. I (Obviously) select a nice array of black tops and bottoms and head to the dreaded stall. I can hear Laura laughing at herself in the stall next to mine. There was such a light, carefree way about her laugh, as if trying on bathing suits was just like sipping cocktails on a patio with friends. I on the other hand felt TIGHT tension in my shoulders, a hint of light-headedness, and a desire to move to somewhere like… Alaska.
I slip on the first suit. IT. IS. NOT. BAD.
IT IS NOT BAD! Not bad? NOT BAD!
I try on a few more, give a twirl, add a cover up, check my pulse… NO PISSED TEARS.
It’s important to note that I’m not saying a Victoria Secret fashion show is in my future (ever), but there was a sense of relief when I didn’t cry. I DIDN’T CRY. I didn’t make excuses, or flinch at the sight of myself trying on high waisted bottoms (who looks good in those anyway?) It was an opportunity for me to look at my hard work over the last 6 weeks and think, “I’m getting there.”
Timing has played SUCH a huge role in this challenge. I’m incredibly thankful that I’ve gotten a jump start on my summer body during these cold winter months. I have started to pave the way for my stronger, healthier, toned body. Amen!
Lately, there has been a lot of focus on reaching a certain number on the scale in order to win this challenge. No matter how hard I work, how great I eat, or what supplements I take, I feel like I’m not losing the weight at a fast enough speed. With the challenge ending this week, I feel that it’s important to focus on what type of non-scale victories I’ve achieved.
After all— cash is nice, but confidence is priceless.